In a perfect world, it would simply be enough to like to taste durably with the delights of the life with two. The conflicts would be solved harmoniously and " routine " would be an unknown word.

Unfortunately, a world as this one does not exist, and each one among us knows very well. However, and they are not least our paradoxes, not only us did not make the mourning of this perfection, but let us cultivate we it a such secret garden. We await the love in our lives as the children await their gifts under the fir tree. There is no question neither of being disappointed nor frustrated, all that we ask it is : duration and the innovation, tenderness and the pepper, resemblance and the difference. With the passing of years, the level of our requirement increased, so much so that to the first storms in the relation in love the great fears and the great doubts emerge. And so precisely our waitings, in other words the idea that we are done of an ideal relation, were the principal obstacles with an opening out life with two ? We collapse under the councils and the opinions of experts : to overcome the crises, to start again the desires, retisser bonds of the intimacy. But when one looks at there more closely, it could be that we become exhausted to run after an ideal who does not cease moving away, quite simply because we forgot that the true road on which we advance is that of reality. To bring a key of Zen in its couple does not mean another thing to only make as well as possible with what is, rather than to put all its energy to be reached what " would be ". " To make with " is not an invitation with resignation, but quite to the contrary, an invitation with the creativity, which is precisely the thing which seems to miss with so many couples in the dead end.

To make as well as possible with which us sums could summarize the philosophy of the couple Zen. Thus instead of running after an inaccessible ideal of life, 3 objectives to reach here in order to find or find the way towards your balance :

-   the rejection of the certainty : How much among us have a preconceived idea of the relation before even engaging ? How much have the certainty to know their partner by heart ? These certainty are reassuring, they grow with the wire of time and each one becomes the belief of the other then, worked by its waitings. Until the day when lassitude makes steal the bars of the cage or which one of the two partners appears under one day unknown. We should not thus hang to us to a belief. Only the experiment causes knowledge, and not the idea, even brilliant, that we are done of a person. Its waitings thus should be demolished, but also of its beliefs and its prejudices, which is most difficult to achieve in the love life.

-   To cross the conflicts : the reasons for conflict in a couple do not miss. The divergences are transformed into charges and criticisms in indictments. Anger scrambles the spirits and prevents any constructive confrontation. It explodes more easily in the intimacy than it freed from all the parapets which usually contains it in our social life. It is nourished by the resentment or what the other touches in us the vulnerable one. To choke to adopt a impassibility of surface is neither good for either nor for the other. To use to take the top carries out to a dead end. It is thus necessary to be useful of this energy to advance to two in a constructive way.

-   To put an end to the routine : with all the occupations which rythment our everyday life, we have only very little time for us. And couples it in all that ? The pleasure of being together is transformed gradually into a sometimes heavy routine and the practices end up being right of the love. Réenchanter is thus needed the daily newspaper. A relation can be the mixture of 6 savours (land-mark, acid, soft, pricking, salted, insipid) and of 3 virtues. Dimensioned savour, which is that which misses with your relation ? Which do you use without moderation ? Which do you fear to use ? Which savour rejects you and why ? All these savours must cohabit in harmony, a pinch of each one supports a rich and creative relation. With regard to the virtues, we have : the flexibility-lightness which refers to the adaptability and the capacity of dédramatiser a situation ; the clearness-freshness which evokes the integrity, the absence of prejudices, the transparency, the spirit of beginner ; and the care-precision which returns to vigilance, the constancy and the taste of making well.

I do not say to bring a magic receipt here to live happy in his couple, I say only that small nothing, that one does not suspect inevitably can bring a note of imagination and give again a small blow of whip to a relation which would tend to stagnate a little bit. Then my last council : to roll up your handles !

          For some, is an obviousness of always, for different, it emerged brutally to the turning a relation which was not appropriate to them.

sexual identity S’does not impose like a revelation. homosexual does not awake a morning, convinced to have found its way. In fact rather indices strew its childhood and its adolescence : attraction for a professor, a friend of the family of the same sex, a comrade of class, a public character, etc. And at this age, it is difficult S’to explain these agitations, these feelings. The whole made even more difficult by the fact that homosexuality is still a subject taboo, especially with the centre even of the family for which it is much easier to accept the situation when the problem is in the neighbor at with dimensions.
 
         All the famous debate is known : " is one born or becomes one homo ? ". homosexuality is not a business of taste or appearance. There is a great difference between the knowledge and to feel it. In what relates to me, I knew at the end of my adolescence. The first emotions, most violent were in this direction. Then comes the period from the handing-over in question : what am I ? normal or not ? what will think my close relations, my friends of them ?

The last experiments that had with girls made it possible to understand that I travelled false. is there that one smells it physically ! It was necessary for me from now on to have the force necessary to choose object of my desire and to assume.

               had 20 years when flirté with a boy and is at 22 years that I fell in love for the first time. And I still remember the least details as if were yesterday. So much from things return to me at the head which I can only include/understand why I liked and why my feelings towards him are always there. Then while weighing for and it against, I think that that is worth largely the sorrow to endure the glances which still our company carries to benefit and live fully from moments like these.

                 To return from there on the subject which interests us here, I would say that the moment when understood that were gay was like a certainty without return, that that formed part of me, of my life. And this certainty so present made place with an indescribable disorder at the same time. The questions returned with even more weight and from force. idea to belong to a world which does not include/understand you completely, disveryses announces, the glance of the others. For my part, had the chance being confronted with a mother who, once the pain of announces last, decided to pass in addition to and to accept my sexual orientation.
 
           Now I do not hide any more, fully assumes my sexuality and my relations with the guys. In different terms, I live !

         That makes an end of time already that the " rabble " invaded the gay field of the phantasms. Sket plans, cellar and revolving became current currency in the advertisements of meeting and Internet sites dedicated. Whatever the medium in which one evolves/moves, whatever the trade that one makes, the rabble heats the brains. But then, of what does one nourish the phantasm of the rabble when thinks that this thing is hardly polished A of the evil to align three words and S’does not assume sexually ?

         The transgression, a desire of what is poisonous, an element of masochism or a setting in voluntary danger, here perhaps of the brief replies. Or wouldn't this be rather the unavowed desire to escape from its condition from gay while wanting to approach closely that which incarnates the male dominating ?

         To colour, will curdle it ideal could be described in the following way : large a B… gone up on tennis shoes with an expression on the face which breathes the ill will. And if such an amount of is that it to take you along within the fairy-like framework a cellar… what a happiness will say some !

   And for those which do not dare to cross the step in order to live their phantasm with an animal of will curdle 100% pure zone, it is easy to find what to feed thanks to a whole panoply of films, magazines or telephone networks in any kind. Rogues truer there are seen than natural so much so that truths will tell you that they are not recognized.

         As for me, it seems to to me high time to leave us the head image of the rogue in the carpark, image so poetic and favourable with frolicking in love…